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Band 5.5

The line chart illustrated the sale of five different fruit jams ( strawberry, raspberry, grape, cherry, and plum) in one nation during the period from 2009 to 2014.

The line chart illustrated the sale of five different fruit jams ( strawberry, raspberry, grape, cherry, and plum) in one nation during the period from 2009 to 2014.
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The line chart illustrated the
sale
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 of five different
fruit
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jams
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 ( strawberry, raspberry, grape, cherry, and
plum
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) in one nation during the
period
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 from 2009 to 2014. The
sale
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 of strawberry jam was the highest
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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among the five types of
fruit
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jams
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. It increased from about 3.2
million
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units
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 in 2009 to 7
million
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units
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 in 2014 with only
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 fluctuation through the
period
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. The
sale
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 of grape
jams
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 constantly increased which was only 0.5
million
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units
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 in 2009, the lowest
sale
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 of the year and increased to 4.5%
million
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 in 2014, jumping to the
third
Linking Words
 place of the year. The
sale
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 of raspberry and cherry
jams
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 both presented similar zig-zag
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
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 individually. The
sale
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 of the former was about 2.8
million
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units
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 in 2009 with only about
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 of 1.5
million
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units
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 during the
period
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, the
second
Linking Words
 highest spot in 2014 like in 2009. The
sale
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 of the latter one was close to 2
million
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units
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 in 2009, peaked
at
Change preposition
in
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 2012 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sale
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 of 3.2
million
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units
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 and
then
Linking Words
 dropped to just below 3
million
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units
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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 which remained in the fourth spot like in 2009. The
sale
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 of
plum
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jams
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 decreased gradually through the 5 years from about 2.8
million
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units
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, the
third
Linking Words
 place in 2009 and dropped to close to 0
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sale
Change to a plural noun
sales
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 in 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, among five kinds of
fruit
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jams
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, except the
sale
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 of
plum
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 jam, the
sale
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 of four
fruit
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jams
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 presented an upward trend during the
period
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. Strawberry
jams
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 were the most popular among customers and
plum
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jams
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 tended to lose
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 customers gradually.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "third".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sale, fruit, jams, plum, period, million, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrated" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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