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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.
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The first pie chart depicts
main
Correct article usage
the main
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reasons
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 for learning a foreign
language
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 among students
according to
Linking Words
 data given by
teachers
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 in a survey in Britain,
while
Linking Words
 the
second
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 one shows percentages of
teachers
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 who reported that a particular
reason
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 has become more popular or nothing has changed. In general, the most popular
reason
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 why people learn a foreign
language
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 is tourism followed by
business
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 and work and buying
property
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 overseas. Obviously, the other
reasons
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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reported by less than 10% of
teachers
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 are not so common. In terms of how
popularity
Add an article
the popularity
show examples
 of
reasons
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 for studying a new
language
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 has changed,
according to
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responders
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reasons
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as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 buying
property
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 in a foreign country,
business
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 and social media have become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way more popular recently
while
Linking Words
insignificant
Change the article
an insignificant
the insignificant
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 number of
teachers
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 said that there has been an increase in other sectors. Now turning to the details, only 3% of
responders
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 see a foreign partner as the most popular
reason
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 for learning a foreign
language
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 among their students,
while
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 the percentage
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
teachers
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 considering general interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
language
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 as
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 conventional
reason
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 for studying it is a bit more and
make up
Join the words
makeup
show examples
 5% . Personal development and social contacts were reported as the main motivation for learning a new
language
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 among students by the same proportions of
teachers
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 and it is 7%. Among
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reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 which have mentioned in
these
Change the determiner
this paragraph
these paragraphs
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paragraph
Add a comma
,paragraph
show examples
 the most significant increase was witnessed by the
reason
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 defined as social contacts
according to
Linking Words
 15% of
responders
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,
while
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 personal development, general interest
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 foreign partner was mentioned as the
reason
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 which increased in popularity more by 4%, 6% and 4% respectively. The most 3 popular
reasons
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 to study a foreign
language
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 which are
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
(33%),
business
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 and work(26%) and buying
property
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 overseas(19%)
also
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 were considered
reasons
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 having the most increase in popularity by the most numbers of
responders
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 except
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 which reported only by 3% of
participant
Add an article
the participant
a participant
show examples
. Buying
property
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 overseas increased the most
according to
Linking Words
 34% of the
teachers
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,
while
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 for
business
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 and work
this
Linking Words
 number was 19%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, language, teachers, reason, business, property, responders with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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