SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HAVING A SET RETIREMENT AGE (EG 65 YEARS) FOR EVERYBODY, REGARDLESS OF OCCUPATION, IS UNFAIR. THEY BELIEVE THAT A CERTAIN WORKERS DESERVE TO RETIRE AND RECEIVE A PENSION AT AN EARLIER AGE. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? WHICH TYPE OF WORKERS DO YOU THINK SHOULD BENEFIT FROM EARLY RETIREMENT?

#people #retirement #age #eg #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The countries around the globe normally have a

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

of 65 years for occupations that fall under their regime. A group of people thinks that setting the

age

Use synonyms

of 65 to take

retirement

Use synonyms

cannot be justified and it should be set up as per the occupation of the workers.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

this

Linking Words

view as per my understanding and will produce a conclusion in the end.

Firstly

Linking Words

, setting up a

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

is crucial for many jobs

such

Linking Words

as government teachers and other government duties as people get used to their jobs and wouldn’t give it up until the time of their death. If no

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

is set up for these jobs, it will increase unemployment among the youths and will

also

Linking Words

hamper the quality of the work.

Hence

Linking Words

, it becomes significant to set up the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

for the jobs.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there are various jobs

such

Linking Words

as duty in the armed forces and other blue-collar jobs which require heavy physical capacity and

also

Linking Words

have detrimental effects on the workers’ physical as well as mental health in the long run.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, as these jobs are

also

Linking Words

extremely important and require youths with enthusiasm and without any health issues, governments should ensure to facilitate early or voluntary

retirement

Use synonyms

along with proper pension and

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

benefits.

Lastly

Linking Words

, not all occupations

can be put

Suggestion

can put

in the same basket.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it becomes very important to have different sets of policies according to their requirements. In essence, as per my opinion, on the one hand, job

such

Linking Words

as teaching and other white-collar jobs don’t require any physical efforts but expertise; people should be allowed to work in these sectors till the

age

Use synonyms

of 65. While

on the other hand

Linking Words

, for jobs

such

Linking Words

as armed forces and other blue-collar jobs that require physical abilities more than mental ones, workers should be allowed to take early

retirement

Use synonyms

with all the benefits. They should

also

Linking Words

be allowed to take voluntary

retirement

Use synonyms

if needed.

Submitted by loveshah216 on Thu Mar 26 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

328 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Your college has a considerable amount of money to spend on improving your school security. You've been asked to write a report for the director saying whether the money should be spent on more security guards or sophosticated equipment.
In light of the recent allocation of significant funds aimed at enhancing our school's security, it is imperative to assess the most effective means of utilizing these resources. The two primary options are increasing the number of security guards or investing in sophisticated equipment. This report aims to evaluate both alternatives to determine the optimal approach.
5
band
Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayer's money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many individuals put more attention on their physical and mental health in nowadays. Arguably, some dwellers believe that governments are supposed to take health care as the first priorities, while others disagree with that. From my persepective, although goverments ought to support residents' health care, I do not consider it as the most important one.
4.5
band
In many workplaces, online communication is becoming more commonplace than face-to-face meetings. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In the era of modern technology, communication can be done easily. In many offices, online conversation is commonly to use instead of eyes-to-eyes meetings. I agree with this statements that people perefer to communicate by online before directly meet. I also believe phenomenon have advantages and disadvantages. I will first focus on the advantages first then moving to look at disadvantages.
4.5
band
Vaccinating children against preventing diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to waht extend do you agree or disagree?
Children vaccination in order to protect them from dangerous diseases is seen as unnecessary and threatens their health according to some people. I believe this statement occurred due to misconception and scepticism that exist among members of society towards vaccination, therefore, i disagree with the opinion.
5.5
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are contrasting opinions when it comes to working for the same organisation throughout one's career versus switching between different organisations. Obviously, every group of people are searching for more positive than negative factors in their choice such as levelling up the career ladder for one point of view or expanding their professional experience for another point of view. In my opinion, there are merits to both approaches, but I personally believe that gaining different sorts of working experience is a strong plus for everybodies career. In the following essay I would like to discuss some points connected to this topic.

Fully explain your ideas

Your college has a considerable amount of money to spend on improving your school security. You've been asked to write a report for the director saying whether the money should be spent on more security guards or sophosticated equipment.

Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayer's money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many workplaces, online communication is becoming more commonplace than face-to-face meetings. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Vaccinating children against preventing diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to waht extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.