The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012.
The graph provides
the
information about the Correct article usage
apply
percentage
of the academic staff in faculties, of a major university by gender, in 2012.
Overall
, female
experienced a downward trend, Fix the agreement mistake
females
while
male
showed an upward trend throughout the period. Both Fix the agreement mistake
males
gender's
Fix the agreement mistake
genders'
percentage
rates had fluctuations. Although
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
initially
had a lower percentage
rate
, it attracted female's rate
at the end
of the period.
Correct article usage
The Female's
Female's
staff Change noun form
Female
percentage
rate
was about 56% in arts, being higher than the male's percentage
rate
percentage
Remove the redundancy
apply
rate
by approximately 12%. Then
it decreased to almost 35% in business. After that, it showed an incremental of about 75% in education,
and continued to decline in engineering, reaching around 15%. Remove the comma
apply
However
, the figure experienced a steady increase during the next
two faculty
. It increases to 40% in law and 52% in medicine. At the end
of the period, it again experienced a decrease of about 36%, being lower than the male's percentage
ratespercentage
Correct your spelling
rates percentage
rate percentage
ratepercentage
Correct your spelling
rate percentage
ratespercentage
Correct your spelling
rates percentage
rate percentage
rate
.
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
Male's
Change noun form
Male
percentage
of academic staff members across the faculties was less than 50% in arts, and it increased in business around
65%. In the education Change preposition
by around
faculty
, it experienced a high decline of about 25%, being
lower than the female's Unnecessary verb
apply
percentage
rate
of approximately 50%, continued
to increase in engineering by around 85%, being higher than Correct word choice
and continued
the
any other Remove the article
apply
faculty
. However
, the figure experienced a steady decline during the next
two faculty
. It
decreases to 60% in law, then
decreased by around 48% in medicine and it continued to increase in science faculty
by around 64%, outracing the rate
of female
.Fix the agreement mistake
females
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, however, next".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, rate, faculty with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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