The pie charts provide information about percentage of purchase in British schools in 1981 , 1991 and 2001.

The pie charts provide information about percentage of purchase in British schools in 1981 , 1991 and 2001.
The given pie charts illustrate
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
of spending in some UK schools in three different years. In general, we can see that teachers’
salaries
always were top position. In the
meantime
Add a comma
,meantime
show examples
we can
also
view insurance as
bottom
Add an article
a bottom
the bottom
show examples
point. Beginning with spending
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
1981 and 1991 we can observe that
firstly
teachers’
salaries
were spent 40% in 1981,
however
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
they
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose by 10% in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
decade.
Secondly
Add a comma
,
show examples
other workers’
salaries
were paid virtually over 20% in the both of years.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
we can
also
witness that Resources e.g books and Furniture or equipment were utilized approximately between 5% and 20% in those years. Moving on to
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
spending of
2001
Change preposition
in 2001
show examples
we can see that they spent 45%
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
teachers’
salaries
. It is
also
worth notice
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
of Insurance and Resources books spending
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
virtually the same ( 8% by 9%) .
Next
, when it comes to other workers’
salaries
we can
also
view that
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
of spending was reduced
up
Change preposition
by up
show examples
to 10% in 2001.
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
they spent 23% on Furniture and equipment in 2001.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, next".
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, salaries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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