IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment.

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment.
#proportion #household #income #five #european #countries #food #drink #entertainment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
table
Use synonyms
 shows the rates of household income
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spent
Add a missing verb
were spent
show examples
 on four items in five
Eouropian
Correct your spelling
European
 countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the
table
Use synonyms
 is that the level of housing is
dominant
Correct quantifier usage
more dominant
show examples
 than
others
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
 in three of the countries(France, Germany and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
)
whereas
Linking Words
 in Turkey and
Spain
Add a comma
,Spain
show examples
 people prefer to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 income
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food and drink. Looking at the
table
Use synonyms
 in more detail, in France and Germany the percentage of housing spending ranks first at around one-
third
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 that of clothing
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the lowest share at 7% and 15% respectively.
Similar
Add an article
A similar
show examples
 pattern can be seen in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, housing spending is
observered
Correct your spelling
observed
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
 highest indicator at 37%,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of clothing and entertainment are the same at precisely 11%. In terms of
Turkey
Add a comma
,Turkey
show examples
 the figure for food and drink is the
second
Linking Words
 highest in the
table
Use synonyms
 with 36 % which is approximately 4 times as high as the level of entertainment expenditure.
Finally
Linking Words
, in
Spain
Add a comma
,Spain
show examples
 the indicator of food and drink spending is reported
31
Change preposition
at 31
show examples
%
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 twice as much as the
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 of entertainment spending
Submitted by agayevferhad02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words table with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Household income
  • Allocate
  • Basic necessities
  • Expenditures
  • Essentials
  • Economy
  • Living conditions
  • Standard of living
  • Cultural significance
  • Leisure activities
  • Financial prioritization
  • Noticeable trends
  • Unusual allocations
  • Society's values
  • Economic status
  • Illustrates
  • Highlights
  • Comparison
  • Analyze
What to do next:
Look at other essays: