IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
Some people believe governments waste
money
 when they spend
money
 on arts
such
 as music and theatre. They believe
government
 invest
money
 in public services.
This
 essay will take on the positive aspects these investments can have and
also
 the negative effects on spending
money
, but it seems the positive aspect will more than the negative effects. Society needs everything like facilities for people, but Something
that is
 overlooked is people need arts because arts,
for example
 music can affect the mind so governments have healthier and happier people. Another proof is, today arts is a Business and a lot of people that have talent can work in
this
 field and make
money
 so the
government
money
 not waste. The
last
 reason is if young people persuade about arts, they are not addicted to some drugs and they spend free time in galleries and it's good for society and its prediction problem
instead
 of solving it and because predict problems are less
money
 than solve the problems.
However
,
this
 investment has some negative effects. In a developing country, people don’t have food or somewhere to sleep so
government
 should spend
money
 to solve
this
 problem. Another reason is the health body that important than mind when people don’t have a healthy body is a waste if the
government
 spends
money
 on the arts. In summary, the
government
 should know about the social need and
then
 decide to invest in the arts or other things.
Submitted by marziiramezanii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: