IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Since science and technology are becoming more and more important in modern society, schools should spend more time on teaching these subjects rather on arts and humanities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#science #technology #society #schools #time #subjects #arts #humanities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people contend that there is a remarkable increase of using
science
 and
technology
 in the contemporary world, so school should put more efforts on instructing these subjects
instead
 of arts and humanities. I determinedly support
this
 contention and in
this
 essay I will outline the essential reasons why.
First
 and foremost,
science
 and
technology
 are powerful tools to assist pupils’ studying work. Utilization of computers, mobile phones and internets are crucial skills to aid students finding needed information as well as employing application software effectively.
For example
, in the past, pupils who utilized paper dictionary might take
few minutes
Suggestion
a few minutes
 to look up a new word, whereas it just takes few seconds to handle
this
 task now, thanks to
science
 and
technology
. Another essential reason is that equipping necessary knowledge for learners in
such
 disciplines will aid them to adapt faster in the modern world. Nearly all institutes use software systems in order to manage their work, so participants in those organizations are required to be able to use or familiarize with
such
 system. As a proof, pupils with good foundation in
science
 and
technology
 usually learn quickly in universities and get placements easier later in the labour market.
Granted it
Accept comma addition
Granted, it
 is valid that arts and humanities facilitate soft skills for students and aid them to know how to behave.
However
, I still stand by what I said that it is fundamental to invest more time and resources on
science
 and
technology
 subjects at school as
this
 are critical means in studying and working in the information age. In conclusion,
science
 and
technology
 are playing crucial role in our life, it
assist
Suggestion
assists
 our work and study powerfully.
Therefore
, efforts of putting
this
 area in education
is highly appreciated
Suggestion
are highly appreciated
 for our young generation in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: