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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit to limit people’s sugar consumption.While others thinks that it is individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individual’s #amount
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High
sugar
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consumption
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 is indeed is harmful to one’s
health
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.
Health
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 must be someone’s utmost priority and everything should be done to ensure one’s good
health
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, as
health
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 is biggest wealth. I believe, proactive contribution from both individual and
government
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 is necessary to curb high
sugar
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consumption
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. Admittedly, someone’s
health
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 is certainly their own prime responsibility.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people ought not indulge is high
sugar
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 diet as it
possibly increase
Suggestion
possibly increases
 the risk of chronic and terminal ailments like Diabetes and Heart diseases.
Additionally
Linking Words
, another strong reason for self controlling
sugar
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consumption
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 is responsibilities. Younger and middle age individual
have
Suggestion
has
 responsibilities toward their family and society as well. Diseases/illness that are linked to regular high
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sugar dietary
Accept comma addition
sugar, dietary
 intake can severely impair the working ability of a person, and
hence
Linking Words
, can affect their pivotal responsibilities as a person and civilian too.
Besides
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 everything,
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government
Suggestion
the government
 should and must take concrete action
in
Suggestion
on
 the issue of high dietary
sugar
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 intake as well because common citizens
contributes
Suggestion
contribute
 enormously towards nation in
form
Suggestion
the form
 of taxes and raise
financial burden
Suggestion
the financial burden
 of
country
Suggestion
the country
a country
countries
 in terms of
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 of a country; healthy civilians are synonymous to a healthy nation. Sometimes, civilians can inadvertently indulge in
such
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 unhealthy dietary practice
due t
Suggestion
due to
duet
 lack of awareness. In
such
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 situations
government
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(s) can contribute immensely by raising awareness pertaining to the detrimental effect of excessive
sugar
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consumption
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 by various mass media means like print, online or social media. To put in nutshell, menace of rich
sugar
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 diet can only be efficiently dealt if both individual and
government
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 play their respective roles to ensure overall wellbeing of peoples.
Submitted by vivek.ucms on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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