The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.
The pie graphs illustrate the result of a survey of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activities
. The first graph illustrates the cultural and leisure
activities
that
boys
participate in,
whereas
the
second
graph illustrates the
activities
in which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
participate. The two graphs have an enormous difference between the
girls
Change noun form
girl's
girls'
show examples
and boy's
activities
, one massive difference is in reading,
girls
tend to read more often than
boys
also
girls
neither
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
basketball nor soccer
while
it occupies 43% of
boys
Change noun form
boys'
boy's
show examples
activities
,
also
boys
do not dance nor play netball
while
42% of
girls
activities
consist them.
although
there are enormous differences between the
activities
between
boys
and
girls
, there is one match in
activities
, music consists
10
Change preposition
of 10
show examples
% of boy's and girl's
activities
, it's the only match between the
activities
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • participate
  • percentage
  • gender difference
  • similar participation rates
  • traditional gender roles
  • trends
  • impact
  • parental influence
  • extracurricular activities
  • accessible
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