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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table illustrates the average monthly sales of ice drinks, tea and coffee, juices, cocktails at small café from January to April.

The table illustrates the average monthly sales of ice drinks, tea and coffee, juices, cocktails at small café from January to April.
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The table illustrates the average monthly
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
ice
Replace the word
iced
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
,
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
, juices,
Use synonyms
cocktails
Correct word choice
and cocktails
show examples
 at small café from
January
Use synonyms
 to April.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of
cocktails
Use synonyms
 sold in
January
Use synonyms
 saw the lowest trend in the period given,
while
Linking Words
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 were the highest in
January
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
ice
Use synonyms
drinks
Use synonyms
 and
cocktails
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged in
January
Use synonyms
 and February. Out of the four types of
drinks
Use synonyms
, the number of
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
, juices was
noticeable
Change the word
noticeably
show examples
 higher over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 shown period. There was a moderate decrease in the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
, which stood at 250 in
January
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but had fallen
180
Change preposition
to 180
show examples
 by April.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there was a small growth,
sales
Use synonyms
 of juices were the same
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the given period at 200. In terms of
ice
Use synonyms
drinks
Use synonyms
 and
cocktails
Use synonyms
, they both showed
unchanged
Add an article
an unchanged
the unchanged
show examples
 trend in the first two months 150 and 90.
While
Linking Words
 the number of
ice
Use synonyms
drinks
Use synonyms
 sold underwent a significant increase to 190 and 230 respectively, cocktail sails decreased slightly from 110 to 100 in the final month.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, ice, drinks, tea, coffee, cocktails, january with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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