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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year of 2009

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year of 2009
#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year
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The bar chart compares the consumption
on
Change preposition
of
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 five primary categories, including food, housing, transportation, health care and clothing in four different countries in 2009.
It is clear that
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 consumers spent money on housing much more than that
of
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apply
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the other four categories shown.
By contrast
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, the percentage of citizens in these nations spending on health care was the lowest. It can be seen from the chart, the percentage of Americans allocating money to
‘housing’
Correct article usage
the ‘housing’
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 sector,
around
Add a missing verb
is around
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 26%, which was 12% and 9% higher than that for food and transportation respectively. Simultaneously, Japan invested
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 money
on
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in
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 food, at just 23%, followed by 14% of Americans, 15% of Canadians and just 20% of British. The proportions of the US and
Canada
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Canadian
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 purchasers expending on transportation were higher than the figures for the others, with around 17 % and 20% respectively.
On the other hand
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, healthcare and clothing were the least two expensive sectors. There were no significant differences in the proportions of the citizens in these nations spending on clothing, around 4 % to 6%.
However
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, the rate of expenditure for health care in the United States was 7%,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 figures for
Canada
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Canadian
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 and
Japan
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Japanese
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 citizens were the same,
with
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at
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 4%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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