IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
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This
 chart shows Japan's populace for a long period from 1950 to 2055. It's clear from the chart that the
overall
 numbers have been increasing except for the
last
 20 years.
According to
 what is shown, starting from 1950 the total gradually grew from 84.1 million to reach 123.6 million in 1990. After that, the statistics remained stable in the age from 1990 to 2015. After 2015, the numbers will considerably decrease to 89.9 m in 2055. The table presents the state of people who are 65 or over. We can notice from the statistics that the total number of
elderlies
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
 is going up and the percentage is jumping. With
this
jumping
Replace the word
jump
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, we can find that the percentage of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 will climb to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 half of
Add an article
the society
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society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the
last
 few years.
To sum up
, we could say that Japan's population is increasing throughout the years. And the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of elderly people
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 higher.
Submitted by 00ghada on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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