IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #stages #equipment #process #cement #purposes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
process
Use synonyms
 illustrates the phases and apparatus to make
cement
Use synonyms
 and how
cement
Use synonyms
 is utilized in the
production
Use synonyms
process
Use synonyms
 of concrete for construction.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
process
Use synonyms
 consists of seven distinct stages.
This
Linking Words
production
Use synonyms
 of
cement
Use synonyms
 begins with the mixing of raw materials and ends with the packing of new
cement
Use synonyms
. Making concrete is a simple
process
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mixing four ingredients in a concrete mixer.
According to
Linking Words
 the
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
process
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first stage, limestone and clay are crushed before being mixed.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the following stage, the mixing powder is passed through a rotating heater. Once
this
Linking Words
 powder is heated,
this
Linking Words
 powder is carried
a
Change preposition
on a
show examples
convey belt for the following stage. The mixture is ground, using a grinder. Now that the
cement
Use synonyms
 has been produced and is transported to a construction site where it can be used to make concrete. Looking at the concrete
production
Use synonyms
process
Use synonyms
, at the first step, 15% of
cement
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 mixed with 10% of water,
quarter
Add an article
a quarter
show examples
 of sand and a half of gravel. All of
ingredient
Add an article
the ingredient
show examples
 is situated in a concrete mixer and is rotated until
concrete
Add an article
the concrete
show examples
 is yielded.
Submitted by kyunghea325 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, cement, production with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: