IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only be provided for scientific research rather than research for less useful subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Due to
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 limited availability of funds for higher education, it is often recommended that financial assistance should be offered to scientific research
instead
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 of allocating funds to supplementary subjects.
This
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 notion should be accepted
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 many facts in favour of practical subjects could be considered. Certainly, the major argument in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favour of subsidising science and technology is rooted in the fact that advancement in science and technology not only reflects the prosperity of the nations but
also
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 vouchsafes the other domains. To illustrate, it can be said that investments in scientific research, including diagnostic and curative
measures
Punctuation problem
measures,
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 ensure the sound health of its people.
Secondly
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, it
also
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 paves
a
Correct article usage
the
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 way towards the holistic development of a country by facilitating innovations and discoveries. Another compelling reason might be
due to
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Correct article usage
the unreservedly
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unreservedly
Replace the word
unreserved
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 salience of science in terms of boosting the economy and living standards of the country. To be precise, a technically strong democracy can ensure the safety and security of the nation and stay connected to the rest of the world in order to enhance trade and contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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 elevating the financial status.
For instance
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, owing to the unrivalled quality of equipment, Japan is known as the world’s leading community.
However
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, one might argue that the importance of supplementary subjects
such
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 as
;
Punctuation problem
apply
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 economics and statistics should not be neglected as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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assists
Correct subject-verb agreement
assist
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 the nation in policy formation and analysing the current situation.
Therefore
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, an equal proportion of financial
assistant
Replace the word
assistance
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 is required for these areas. From the analysis of the above discussion, one can observe that, evidently,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should pour more money
in
Change preposition
into
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 scientific research owing to its pivotal role in
comprehensive
Correct article usage
the comprehensive
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 growth of a state.
Nonetheless
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, it is pertinent that
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 domains should be taken into account
while
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 distributing the funds.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could include a stronger thesis statement that clearly shows your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your main points, especially in the second paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are a bit unclear. Try to simplify your sentences for better understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure all paragraphs flow well together and connect to your main argument more clearly.
task achievement
You provided some good reasons for supporting scientific research.
coherence and cohesion
Your vocabulary use is quite varied, which shows a good range of language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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