IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nation in such area. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#improvement #health #education #trade #development #nations #governments #responsibility #nation #area
Health, education and trade are crucial items for a country to develop.
However
, poorer nations face many difficulties to improve in these areas, I would argue that the government of richer nations should take more responsibility to help them in
such
 area. There are several reasons why under developed countries should receive help from richer nations.
Firstly
, the majority of people in these countries are illiterates. Usually, governments of these countries have no proper experience and knowledge to make an efficient program to lead their people to be literate. In
this
 situation, developed countries can help them by giving appropriate curriculum and education materials
such
 as books and stationeries along with expert and volunteer teachers to go to these countries and teach individuals specially children.
Moreover
, philanthropic organizations in associated with wealthy nations' government can play a key role to construct school buildings in poorer countries particularly in rural areas.
Secondly
, another major problem in the vulnerable nations is the lack of health in both medicine and food. These countries, mostly affected by diseases
such
 as AIDS, POLIO and so on. For many reasons like illiterate people, lack of appropriate infrastructures, huge populations and widespread poverty, the government of these countries are not able to provide a proper health care system.
Hence
, other nations specially affluent society should involve in
this
 vital issue.
Last
 but not least, in order to help poorer nations develop and reach to the basics of living requirement, rich nations should trade with them and help them to earn money by themselves. In conclusion, poverty stricken countries need help from wealthy nations to developing their countries.
Submitted by ms13562003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: