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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given graph and table illustrate the fluctuation in export earnings in a country through several product
catergories
Correct your spelling
categories
 from 2015 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of earnings came from petroleum and engineered
goods
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 textiles and engineered
goods
Use synonyms
 made the largest percentile jumps. The Petroleum products remained its leading position in exporting earnings with a 3% rise, which
moderate
Change the word
moderately
show examples
 climbed from just over $61
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2015 to around $63
billion
Use synonyms
 by 2016.
While
Linking Words
 its follower, engineered
goods
Use synonyms
, experienced an improvement
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 8.5% equivalent to 4
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars Compared to these two exports, the other products were much lower. Gems and jewellery, the only export to decrease, went down 5.18% from $43
billion
Use synonyms
 to $41
billion
Use synonyms
. With respect to the former, agricultural
goods
Use synonyms
 were virtually equal at approximately $31
billion
Use synonyms
 throughout the period.
This
Linking Words
 number is higher than the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Textiles about $5
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, Textiles had pulled
approximately
Change preposition
to approximately
show examples
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 with agriculture by 2016. Specially, The profit
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 exporting experienced growth except for gems and jewellery, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a moderate drop

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exports
  • categories
  • percentage change
  • value
  • machinery
  • textiles
  • agricultural products
  • raw materials
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • sector
  • growth
  • decline
  • economic factors
  • market demand
  • trade policies
  • contribution
  • anomalies
  • unexpected findings
  • implications
  • economy
  • trade negotiations
  • export strategies
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