IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their choosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what is your opinion, should be done about it?

#universities #graduates #job #choosen #profession #factors #situation
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Nowadays most
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Nowadays, most
universities
Suggestion
university
 graduates are not able to find a lucrative
job
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 related to their field. In my opinion, the root of
this
Linking Words
 problem lies in the outdated
education
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 system that should be modernized and overpopulation
growth which
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growth, which
 requires more awareness among people towards selecting right profession as per their potential.
Traditional university
Suggestion
A traditional university
education
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doesnot
Suggestion
does not
preapare
make ready or suitable or equip in advance for a particular purpose or for some use, event, etc
prepare
prepares
prepared
 students for their
job
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 for a number of reasons.One of them is that many programmes are too theoretical.In
this
Linking Words
 competitive period, a company
always look
Suggestion
always looks
 to hire a
best
Suggestion
good
better
 candidate having diverse knowledge about their field work with hands on experience.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example, knowledge of IIT software.
Futhermore due
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Furthermore, due
Furthermore due
 to
overpopulation there
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overpopulation, there
is
Suggestion
are
have been
are being
 always high number of applicants,
therefore
Linking Words
competition
Suggestion
the competition
 is very high and selection process is
also
Linking Words
 strict
sothat
Suggestion
so that
 few candidates are able to make the cut. A reform of higher
education
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 could alleviate many of the
problems but
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problems, but
 would require joint efforts from universities and the government. If universities worked
closer
Suggestion
closely
 with the employers, they could teach students practical skills that companies look for. Meanwhile, the government could develop
guideliness
a light line that is used in lettering to help align the letters
guidelines
 on how many
students
Suggestion
students'
 universities should recruit in each subject in accordance with market demand. Students should get proper
councelling
something that provides direction or advice as to a decision or course of action
counselling
 from experts in the same field and ought to be taught on how they can get
Use synonyms
job
Suggestion
jobs
 in their profession. In conclusion, a likely reason why many graduates cannot find a
job
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 in their fields is because university
education
Use synonyms
 might not have provided them with the right skill set.I think that universities and government could improve the situation by updating the content of the programmes and
limitimg
restricting the scope or freedom of action
limiting
 the number of students in each subject in line with market demands.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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