Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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Watching TV set and playing video games are considered the most attractive

entertainment

Use synonyms

methods. There are two opposite views are connected to

this

Linking Words

topic. On the one hand, many people argue that TV set and

computer

Use synonyms

games have confusion and impact badly on our humanity.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others believe that there is no link between rampage and

station

Use synonyms

computer

Use synonyms

games. Personally, I agree to

extent

Suggestion

an extent

with the

first

Linking Words

view. Nobody can deny that watching

station

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and playing video games are the oldest ways of

entertainment

Use synonyms

at home. Not only do adults or elderly people use them, but

also

Linking Words

teenagers and children.

Additionally

Linking Words

, satellite invention has given us a big chance to watch many global channels.

Furthermore

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, there are a large number of specialized channels

such

Linking Words

as movie channels, drama channels,

entertainment

Use synonyms

channels and kids channels. There is a wide range of choices which grip us to watch television.

Although

Linking Words

, the benefits of

Use synonyms

station

Suggestion

a station

I and many people assume that it contributes to spread of violent behaviours in our humanity. Many children and teenagers try to copy what they watch. Unfortunately, nowadays; there are a lot of violent scenes in films and that will impact on people's behaviours.

For example

Linking Words

; in Egypt, a great deal of movies appeared recently and they incite violence.

Therefore

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, actors have become rude and have done shamed actions. Regarding

computer

Use synonyms

games, the target of them is teenagers and children, so it is easy to effect on them. Even though, funny games attract girls, violent games

such

Linking Words

as Ninja and War games hold boys attentions. Everything in our life has pros and cons and we have to decide which side is appropriate for us. We can benefit from

station

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and

computer

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games,

however

Linking Words

, we can avoid their negative effects. The censorship has to play a prominent role to delete any scenes which incite

attack

Suggestion

attacks

box

Suggestion

the box

. Not only does the censorship can sort

this

Linking Words

problem out, but

also

Linking Words

each parent can help. Parental supervision is extremely important for children during watching

box

Suggestion

boxing

and playing video games.

Finally

Linking Words

TV set

Suggestion

a TV set

the TV set

is an essential

entertainment

Use synonyms

tool in our life and we can not imagine our life without it. What is more, we can choose which contents are suitable for us and our children. If we misbehave, that will affect negatively on our company. I recommend censorship and families care about our vanguards to teach them good manners. They will be influential members in our society.

Submitted by rahmywael on Fri Apr 17 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

409 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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