Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is often argued that police and military are required to maintain the safety of the society. Some people might say that many females must be hired as regular while others think that it is not appropriate to recruit women for the hazardous jobs. I assume that women should be treated as equal.

This

essay will address the both ideas about the women’s jobs.

First

of all, everyone must be handled equally in the modern society.

In other words

, all people should remove the stereotype. Women

also

can be a police or

military because

Accept comma addition

military, because

there are no gender criteria to protect citizens.

For example

, females can train same as what males do and

also

they must be educated to sue the guns as part of their

jobs

Suggestion

job

. In spite of the fact that using guns

are difficult they

Suggestion

are difficult, they

should do that for people’s safety because if they are not intending to their duties, the security of society would be deteriorated.

Furthermore

, they have eyes to aim targets and hands to shoot guns which means there is no way to discriminate them.

On the other hand

, it is too much dangerous when it comes to becoming

women’s job

Suggestion

a women’s job

. Despite the fact that the removal of gender discrimination the majority of criminals are

men which

Accept comma addition

men, which

means they are stronger than women.

For example

, even though females are

trained they

Accept comma addition

trained, they

cannot dominate men properly due to the difference of physical strength.

Therefore

, some occupations are not proper for women definitely. In conclusion, it is sometimes claimed that some jobs are hard to hire for

women but

Accept comma addition

women, but

we have to encourage them to be equal. Once that gender stereotype is

disappeared

Suggestion

disappearing

, our community will be better to

live

go away from a place

leave

Submitted by davidjeong90 on Sat Apr 18 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think museums and art galleries should show works of art and history from their own country rather than from diff erent parts of the world. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money- making attractions aimed at tourists. Others say this is the only way to save such traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Now a alot of people in college are doing academic study. We should encourge them to learn vocational skill ( like plumbers and electricity). Do you agree or disagree.?

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.