IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #places #people #ban
Smoking in public places is currently being prohibited in some nations and it is agreed by men and women that
such
 a prohibition is a right step in the right direction.
This
 essay totally agrees with
this
 statement because it caters for citizens who are allergic to smoke and brings sanity to the environs. Uncontrolled smoking will put the health of people who are asthmatic patients and persons with upper respiratory tract ailments in danger.
This
 is because they are usually characterised with symptom
such
 as cough whenever they come in contact with smoke.
As a result
, the activation of their diseases could lead to their death if immediate medical attention is not given.
For example
, the United Nations
has directed
Suggestion
have directed
 the government of states to stop public
smoking which
Accept comma addition
smoking, which
 has led UK to ban smoking in most of their public venues.
Therefore
, when a law is put in place to prevent general smoking, the health of vulnerable people would not be at risk. Another good reason why smoking should not be carried out in the open is to instil sanity.
In other words
, when men and women are allowed to smoke wherever they want, it would deface the beauty of our environment.
Consequently
, it will create nuisance when every public site is being littered with sticks, ashes and packets of cigarettes.
For instance
, when the UK government made a law against smokers and littering in public scenes, every open place is now as clean as ever before because people do not
want to pay fine
Suggestion
want to pay a fine
 or do community service for a period of three months. In conclusion, smokers have been banned presently from using public sites and it is a welcome development because it would not aggravate the health condition of the sick and keeps the environment clean.
Submitted by felix on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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