IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #places #people #ban
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Smoking has been banned in public places like parks, hospitals, public transport and restaurants in many nations.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 initiative because it reduces the harmful effects of passive smoking and
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 encourages
smokers
Use synonyms
 to quit. The primary reason why making it illegal to
smoke
Use synonyms
 in public makes sense is
preventing
Wrong verb form
to prevent
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from having to breathe in second-hand
smoke
Use synonyms
. Passive smoking can lead to many smoking-related diseases
such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer, heart disease and stroke, and is something that non-
smokers
Use synonyms
 cannot avoid in the presence of a smoker. The British Medical Association found that non-
smokers
Use synonyms
 who were regularly exposed to tobacco
smoke
Use synonyms
 were 4 times more likely to develop lung cancer
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than those who did not have to breathe in second-hand
smoke
Use synonyms
. The second main reason is that
this
Linking Words
 ban helps those addicted to cigarettes quit their habit. When
smokers
Use synonyms
 and non-
smokers
Use synonyms
 socialise together, the
smokers
Use synonyms
 are often ostracised from the group because they have to leave the company of everyone else if they want to light up. As a result,
smokers
Use synonyms
 who
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to quit would feel more a part of the social gatherings they attend, and
this
Linking Words
 should encourage
people
Use synonyms
 who
smoke
Use synonyms
 to give it up.
This
Linking Words
 has proven particularly effective in Ireland, the first country to introduce a nationwide ban, where
people
Use synonyms
 have to leave a bar or restaurant and
smoke
Use synonyms
 outside. In conclusion, making it against the law to
smoke
Use synonyms
 around strangers should be encouraged because it prevents innocent
people
Use synonyms
 from dying of passive smoking and reduces the number of
smokers
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by felix on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: