IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#topic #people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviour #host #country #differences
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While some people think that local rules and behaviours should be obeyed by tourists, others argue that
host
Use synonyms
 countries should respect cultural diversity and not reject them.
Although
Linking Words
 there are several reasonable justifications about both views, I agree with the former and I think customs and laws of
Use synonyms
host country
Suggestion
the host country
host countries
 should be followed by tourists. On the one hand, one of the most important justifications in respecting cultural differences by
host
Use synonyms
 countries is economic benefits of
tourist industry
Suggestion
the tourist industry
.
That is
Linking Words
, increasing number of
visitors improves
Accept comma addition
visitors, improves
 tourist industry, which improve
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 as a whole. There is a high probability that accepting cultural differences and giving tourists freedom leads to/results in attracting more tourists and spending more money
by
Suggestion
with
 them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, due to short accommodation of tourists in
host
Use synonyms
 countries, these diversities don’t cause serious problem for local people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people with opposing view argue that not following
host
Use synonyms
 countries’ rules and customs by visitors causes serious problems in society.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is probable that they do something against local rules, which is
danger
Suggestion
a danger
 for health of society
.
Accept space
.
 For illustration, using
drug
Suggestion
the drug
drugs
 is not against the rules in
few countries while
Suggestion
a few countries, while
a few countries while
 it is forbidden and has
strict law
Suggestion
strict laws
a strict law
 about it in many countries and tourists should be aware of that and respect it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is argued that laws and rules are set for inside the borders irrespective of local or foreign person. In conclusion, despite different views about following customs and behaviours of
host
Use synonyms
 countries by tourists, in my opinion, visitors should know and respect
host
Use synonyms
 countries
customs in
Accept comma addition
customs, in
 order not to cause any issues for the local society and people.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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