Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which job should be highly paid?

#celebrities #film #stars #sportsmen #pop #musicians #money #job

In these days, talented persons

such

as athletics persons, movie actors and singers

are required

Suggestion

have required

very high amount to hire them.

This

is totally agreeable notion.

but

Suggestion

But

, In my opinion teachers should be highly paid due to

number

Suggestion

a number

of reasons.

First

of all, sportsmanship sponsored by rich nations, to develop and encourage youngsters to follow them and be like them. It affects individuals in

positive manner

Suggestion

a positive manner

because children follow them to achieve

same goals

Suggestion

the same goals

Moreover

, the film actors

also

provide

scenario

Suggestion

a scenario

scenarios

to society about social issues

Accept space

research and

fictious

formed or conceived by the imagination

fictitious

work to provide off springs, knowledge about

future

Suggestion

the future

as well as past

decades which

Accept comma addition

decades, which

bring harmony among pupils and highly paid amounts to them are acceptable and fruitful in

long term

Suggestion

the long term

. Eventually, the musicians

explains

Suggestion

explain

or tell us about our traditions and

soothens

give moral or emotional strength to

soothes

our nerves as well as reduce stress from

mind

Suggestion

the mind

and play a vital role to maintain connectivity in generations. Admittedly, all these well -known persons deserved higher

amounts but

Accept comma addition

amounts, but

teachers should be paid higher in

compare

Suggestion

comparison

to them because instructors play a vital role and made doctors

Accept space

engineers, researchers etc.Without trainers there is no existence of any other profession

Accept space

so they will be welcomed with high salary scales to accomplish their needs and provide them

bright future

Suggestion

a bright future

. To recapitulate it all, in my perspective, talented stars

such

as, film industry or athletics, their skills should be highly appreciated with

money but

Accept comma addition

money, but

professors should

given

Suggestion

give

highest priority because they make students, the film stars or best athletics.

Submitted by guri8146 on Sun Apr 19 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside a company and not to someone outside the company or new hiring. What is your opinion on this?

As we are facing more and more problems which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more plastic waste has polluted cities, the countryside and oceans. What problem does it cause and what measures can be taken?

Every year several language die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion.

These days undocumented immigrants are a big problem. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?