Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which job should be highly paid?

#celebrities #film #stars #sportsmen #pop #musicians #money #job

In these days, talented persons

such

as athletics persons, movie actors and singers

are required

Suggestion

have required

very high amount to hire them.

This

is totally agreeable notion.

but

Suggestion

But

, In my opinion teachers should be highly paid due to

number

Suggestion

a number

of reasons.

First

of all, sportsmanship sponsored by rich nations, to develop and encourage youngsters to follow them and be like them. It affects individuals in

positive manner

Suggestion

a positive manner

because children follow them to achieve

same goals

Suggestion

the same goals

Moreover

, the film actors

also

provide

scenario

Suggestion

a scenario

scenarios

to society about social issues

Accept space

research and

fictious

formed or conceived by the imagination

fictitious

work to provide off springs, knowledge about

future

Suggestion

the future

as well as past

decades which

Accept comma addition

decades, which

bring harmony among pupils and highly paid amounts to them are acceptable and fruitful in

long term

Suggestion

the long term

. Eventually, the musicians

explains

Suggestion

explain

or tell us about our traditions and

soothens

give moral or emotional strength to

soothes

our nerves as well as reduce stress from

mind

Suggestion

the mind

and play a vital role to maintain connectivity in generations. Admittedly, all these well -known persons deserved higher

amounts but

Accept comma addition

amounts, but

teachers should be paid higher in

compare

Suggestion

comparison

to them because instructors play a vital role and made doctors

Accept space

engineers, researchers etc.Without trainers there is no existence of any other profession

Accept space

so they will be welcomed with high salary scales to accomplish their needs and provide them

bright future

Suggestion

a bright future

. To recapitulate it all, in my perspective, talented stars

such

as, film industry or athletics, their skills should be highly appreciated with

money but

Accept comma addition

money, but

professors should

given

Suggestion

give

highest priority because they make students, the film stars or best athletics.

Submitted by guri8146 on Sun Apr 19 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

write a Letter: Your internet connection has been slow and intermittent. Write a letter to your internet service provider to complain. In the letter: – Describe the problem and why you are unhappy – Arrange for an engineer to visit your home – Request a reduction in your bill