IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #diagrams #parts #air #balloon #ascends #flight #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These diagrams demonstrate how the hot
air
Use synonyms
 balloon rises and falls.
Overall
Linking Words
, It's clear that there are some stages in the process, beginning with
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
 the gas tanks in ascending and
end
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 it in descending.
According to
Linking Words
 the
diagrams
Add a comma
,diagrams
show examples
 the first step after the passengers ride is opening the gas tanks and the
air
Use synonyms
 is heated in
burner
Correct article usage
a burner
show examples
 which is located under the balloon envelope
next
Linking Words
 that the hot
air
Use synonyms
transfer
Replace the word
transferred
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by the valve cord and
hence
Linking Words
 the balloon is raising The
second
Linking Words
 stage
is descend
Change the verb form
is descended
is descending
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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occurs three main steps.
first
Add a comma
,first
show examples
 the valve opened after that the
air
Use synonyms
 comes out and it became cooler because the gas tank is closing so no
air
Use synonyms
 to heat
Submitted by hala on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words air with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • envelope
  • burner
  • gondola
  • ascend
  • descend
  • vent
  • contract
  • expand
  • dense
  • skirt
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