IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #town #cities
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There are many advancements in commerce due to which way of shopping is changing dramatically.
Although
Linking Words
 preference for online shoppings has increased yet most of the people do shopping from
local stock Market
Suggestion
the local stock market
the local stock Market
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Accept space
,
I disagree with the view that shops in cities can totally closed
.
Accept space
.
in
Suggestion
In
this
Linking Words
 essay views to support my disagreement will be examined
.
Accept space
.
 The major cause for shopping from shops is that people do not want to buy things before checking them
,
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,
they do not believe on
online website
Suggestion
an online website
 that the stuff or material would be top or what they have seen on screen
,
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,
 it would be similar like that
.
Accept space
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 sometimes they need things at
particular time
Suggestion
a particular time
particular times
the particular time
 and delivery from online shopping can be
late
Suggestion
later
.
Accept space
.
 Meanwhile
,
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,
 people can purchase anything in a short time from
shop
Suggestion
the shop
a shop
.
Accept space
.
 Addition to
this
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,
Accept space
,
 something are too small which is purchased from local shops with reasonable price and necessity of those things can be satisfied
on
Suggestion
with
 the dot.
In other words
Linking Words
, some areas are deprived from
network area
Suggestion
the network area
a network area
 in that
conditions
Suggestion
condition's
 presence of local stores
nd
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 shops in
near
Suggestion
the nearest
 cities are helpful to fulfil their needs. Not only
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 for online Shopping they have
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of
burdon
an onerous or difficult concern
burden
 on their mind for payments as they have no links with banks
for
Linking Words
example credit
Accept comma addition
example, credit
 card or other way of online payments
,
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,
they feel difficult
it especially
Accept comma addition
it, especially
poor section
Suggestion
the poor section
poor sections
 of society as they have limited amount of money and they have
lack
Suggestion
a lack
 of knowledge about it.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
 richer ones do online shopping for everything
,
Accept space
,
Linking Words
however local
Accept comma addition
however, local
 shops provide services for
eversection
Suggestion
the ever section
ever section
 of society
nd
Suggestion
ND
and
needs
 these are convenient to return
deffected
beaten or overcome; not victorious
defeated
defected
purchasings
the act of buying
purchasing
.
Thus
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,
Accept space
,
it plays a crucial role in life and make opportunity for people to find jobs in commerce sector
nd
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 open their small scale business by themselves
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion
,
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,
 in my opinion
,
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,
I would say everything has own importance and online shopping
can not
can not
cannot
 take place of shops in cities which are for both sections of society and
next
Linking Words
 to door to
complish
put in effect
accomplish
needs
Suggestion
the needs
 of things in a short time.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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