IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of five types of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in France in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both years, the most significant sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 were gas and coal, which together accounted for over half the
production
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear and other kinds of
energy
Use synonyms
 sources generated the least amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 in France. In all types of
energy
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
production
Add a comma
,production
show examples
 there was only minimal change over the
10 year
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
 period.
Use synonyms
Energy
Add an article
The energy
show examples
 produced by coal comprised
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
29.80% in the first year and
this
Linking Words
 showed only a very slight increase of about a mere 1% to 30.9% in 2005.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in 1995, gas generated 29.63% which rose marginally to 30.1% 10 years later. With regards to the remaining methods of producing
energy
Use synonyms
, there was an approximate 5% growth in
production
Use synonyms
 from both nuclear power and other sources to 10.10% and 9.10 % respectively. Petrol,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, was the only source of
energy
Use synonyms
 which decreased in
production
Use synonyms
 from 29.27 % in 1995 to around a fifth in 2005 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, production with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nuclear energy
  • Renewable energy
  • Non-renewable energy
  • Technological advancements
  • Government policy
  • Environmental policies
  • Investment in renewable technologies
  • Traditional energy sources
  • Coal usage
  • Natural gas
  • Environmental regulations
  • Energy consumption
  • Energy production levels
  • Proportion
  • Broader trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: