IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. to what extent do you agree WITH THIS STATEMENT?

#school #university #people #job #career #love #salary
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Many people hold the view that the salary is what matters the most when choosing a career. Others opine that
passion
 is the most important
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career choice. Personally, I think that
job
 satisfaction is more important than well –paid
job
, considering that doing a desirable profession Is the key to accomplishment and that
passion
 makes
happy
Correct pronoun usage
you happy
show examples
. First of all, success requires
passion
 so as long as
one
effectuate
Correct subject-verb agreement
effectuates
show examples
 a desirable
job
, he would be unlike to succeed in it.
Nevertheless
,
passion
 doesn't pay at the beginning, it’s
finally
 readable.Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it Fuel perseverance and aspires
personal
Change preposition
to personal
show examples
 development which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favourable
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
For example
, I remember when have turned my
passion
 to again, pain and opened “4seasons restaurant “I used to start to endeavour very late and slept only 2 hours per day, in spite of the fact that It was very tiring but I really enjoyed it and now it’s
one
 of the most famous restaurants in my city, that was to say that
passion
 is pivotal to success.
Secondly
,
passion
 makes
happy
Correct pronoun usage
us happy
show examples
, in fact,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average people pass more than 80.000 in the
job
 place in a lifetime,
furthermore
, doing a passionate task may not just make us joyful in
professional
Correct pronoun usage
our professional
show examples
life
 but
also
 in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
our personal
show examples
life
. And that's because it will add a taste and a purpose to
life
, to illustrate, my brother used to the activity For the money, but he was very miserable,
one
 day he decided to switch off his occupation Into a passionate
one
, now he feels better and even his mood had changed toward his family To summarize, it is very important to choose a passionate walk of
life
 Over
one
 with best salary.And
that is
 because when we have a heart is something
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is driven to make the most money, success and welfare.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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