After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. to what extent do you agree WITH THIS STATEMENT?

Many people hold the view that the salary is what matters the most when choosing a career. Others opine that
passion
is the most important
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career choice. Personally, I think that
job
satisfaction is more important than well –paid
job
, considering that doing a desirable profession Is the key to accomplishment and that
passion
makes
happy
Correct pronoun usage
you happy
show examples
. First of all, success requires
passion
so as long as
one
effectuate
Correct subject-verb agreement
effectuates
show examples
a desirable
job
, he would be unlike to succeed in it.
Nevertheless
,
passion
doesn't pay at the beginning, it’s
finally
readable.Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it Fuel perseverance and aspires
personal
Change preposition
to personal
show examples
development which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favourable
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
For example
, I remember when have turned my
passion
to again, pain and opened “4seasons restaurant “I used to start to endeavour very late and slept only 2 hours per day, in spite of the fact that It was very tiring but I really enjoyed it and now it’s
one
of the most famous restaurants in my city, that was to say that
passion
is pivotal to success.
Secondly
,
passion
makes
happy
Correct pronoun usage
us happy
show examples
, in fact,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average people pass more than 80.000 in the
job
place in a lifetime,
furthermore
, doing a passionate task may not just make us joyful in
professional
Correct pronoun usage
our professional
show examples
life
but
also
in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
our personal
show examples
life
. And that's because it will add a taste and a purpose to
life
, to illustrate, my brother used to the activity For the money, but he was very miserable,
one
day he decided to switch off his occupation Into a passionate
one
, now he feels better and even his mood had changed toward his family To summarize, it is very important to choose a passionate walk of
life
Over
one
with best salary.And
that is
because when we have a heart is something
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
is driven to make the most money, success and welfare.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: