The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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According to
this
graph, the number of men and women in further
education
in Britain shows that
following style.
In the case of males, the number of males Correct determiner usage
the
has
decreased from about 100 Unnecessary verb
apply
thousands
in 1970/1971 to about 850 Change to singular
thousand
thousands
in 1990/1991. Change to singular
thousand
However
, this
figure
rises back to about 850 thousands
in 1990/1991 from about 820 Change to singular
thousand
thousands
in 1980/1981. The proportion of full-time Change to singular
thousand
education
has decreased during this
period. However
, the proportion of part-time education
has increased dramatically.
On the other hand
, in the case of females, the number of both full-time education
and part-time education
has increased during the period.
From about 700 thousands
in 1970/1971, these figures rose to about 820 Change to singular
thousand
thousands
in 1980/1981, to about 1100 Change to singular
thousand
thousands
in 1990/1991. In terms of full-time Change to singular
thousand
education
, this
figure
rises by about 260 to about 900 in 1990/1991.
On the other hand
, with respect to part-time education
, this
figure
raised a lot between 1980/1981 and 1970/1971. However
Add a comma
,However
this
figure
risesCorrect article usage
a
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, thousands, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rises" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 9 times.
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