IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given pie charts demonstrate how
the
Correct article usage
apply
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household
energy
Use synonyms
 usage contributed to the number of emitted greenhouse gases in Australia. Overview, the use of gas in heating is obvious that a majority proportion of how the power had been used in housework.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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heating follows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Australian household polluted gas emissions. For the power consumption within households, heating purposes stand ahead of the rest with up to 72% of all uses which is shown in
graph
Add an article
the graph
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 as 42% and 30% for normal heating and water heating, respectively. Comparatively, the uses of
energy
Use synonyms
 in cooling objectives are relatively low.
Cooling
Add an article
The cooling
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 process uses only two
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of all
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed,
while
Linking Words
 refrigeration takes 7%. Regarding the use of
energy
Use synonyms
 in Australia, Greenhouse gases are emitted. Following the logic, heating processes lead to the largest number of gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 at 47% when normal and water heating are all included.
However
Linking Words
, the use of
energy
Use synonyms
 in refrigerators causes a larger percentage of emissions than expected. It produces 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of the gases which lead to greenhouse effects
,
Remove the comma
apply
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while
Linking Words
 cooling progress remains the same as a small number at 3%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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