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Band 3.5

The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries for the period 1960-2000. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information in the graphs.

The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries for the period 1960-2000. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information in the graphs.
#two #graphs #show #percentage #smokers #consumption #alcohol #litres #countries #period #report #lecturer #information
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The two graphs below show the
percentage
 of
smokers
 and the
consumption
 of
alcohol
 in litres in selected
countries
, for the period 1960-2000. Summarize the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons. The two graphs represent comparisons
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
percentage
 of
smokers
 in the population every day in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Japan
,
Holland
Correct word choice
and Holland
show examples
 and
alcohol
consumption
 in
liters
Change the spelling
litres
show examples
 per
person
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
Turkey
,
Holland
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 from 1960 to 2000.As can be seen from the first graph, 3
countries
 of the survey indicated a downward trend in
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
smokers
 from 1960 to 2000.
Holland
 revealed the highest
level
while
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 stood the lowest
percentage
 of
smokers
. In 1960,
Holland
 represented 59% of
smokers
while
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 represented 40% and in 2000
Holland
 showed 32% of
smokers
while
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 indicated 19%. From 1960 to 1970, the
percentage
 of
Holland
smokers
 remained unchanged at 59% during which
Japan
 and
USA
 dropped very slightly from 49% to 48% and from 40% to 39% respectively.
Holland
 represented a dramatic change during
1970s
Change the article
the 1970s
show examples
 when its smoker
percentage
 slumped sharply from 59% to 44%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1970 and 1980. From 1980 to 2000,
Holland
 and
Japan
 seemed
decline
Fix the infinitive
to decline
show examples
 slowly at the same
level
. The gaps
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 between
Japan
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
seemed
Add the particle
toseemed
show examples
 stay unchanged
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 10-12% from 1960 to 2000. It can be clear from the
second
 graph that 3
countries
 rose up to the peak of
alcohol
consumption
 in 1980.
Holland
 represented the highest
level
 of 11. 3
lirters
Correct your spelling
litres
litters
/
person
while
USA
 and
Turkey
 represented the
second
 and the
third
 at 10. 1 and 1. 9
lirters
Correct your spelling
litres
litters
/
person
 respectively in 1980.
Holland
 revealed a dominant increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
alcohol
consumption
while
 others showed a gradual one from 1960 to 1980. During
this
 time,
Holland
 shot up from 3. 9 litres/
person
 in 1960 to the peak of 11. 3% in 1980. If
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 showed the highest
level
 of
alcohol
consumption
 in 1960 ,
Holland
 prevailed above 3
countries
 from 1980
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 2000.
Turkey
 reveals the lowest
alcohol
consumption
 when it represented the significant gaps among the others. Especially the graph showed the
gaps
Fix the agreement mistake
gap
show examples
 of 9. 4 litres/
person
 between
Turkey
 and
Holland
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the pinnacle of 1980.
Submitted by phamnhatminh01 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, while".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, smokers, consumption, alcohol, countries, usa, japan, holland, person, turkey, level with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "indicated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparisons" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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