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Band 4.5

All people should go to university, even if they are not going to use that education In their job. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #education #job
In today’s modern world,
education
 always been an important element in every individual people’s lives in all corners of the world to achieve success In their
careers whether
Accept comma addition
careers, whether
 the occupation related to degree that a person graduated from or not.
Hence
, I
am absolutely agree
Suggestion
absolutely agree
have absolutely agreed
 with
this
 idea. Nowadays,
personality
Suggestion
the personality
 of each person demonstrates how they do in their career and to get to that level of prestige people should go to university and be learnt by the professors how to interact with others in the society. More importantly, is having
the greater
Suggestion
the great
 sense of discipline required in
professional world
Suggestion
the professional world
 to structure their
life
Suggestion
lives
 in the correct way and to meet deadlines on time and
this
 should be included in every career as it is an indispensable part of each job to obtain
result
Suggestion
results
the result
a result
.
In addition
, having
further
education
 creates more opportunities to have
second chance
Suggestion
a second chance
 if you were
failed
Suggestion
failing
 in your
first
 field as you will learn
wide variety
Suggestion
a wide variety
 of skills and it would give you a wide range of choices to be selected in an environment you are interested in.
On the other hand
,
education
 will teach how to become and stay competitive in the
market which
Accept comma addition
market, which
 is significantly important in today’s economical conditions.
Further more
in addition
Furthermore
, furthering the
education
 will teach people to have self-confidence and believe in themselves to get a great mental power to surround the market. To sum up, going for
further
education
 in university is absolutely essential in
life even
Accept comma addition
life, even
 if it is not relevant to the job as it identifies personality, giving
greater sense
Suggestion
a greater sense
 of discipline, giving
vast range
Suggestion
a vast range
 of opportunities, most importantly, learning how to compete with others in the market and
also
 having self-confidence. All of these aspects are required to be successful in the career.
Submitted by hooman.torabi7 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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