IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Pie chart shows electricity production by fuel Source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000

Pie chart shows electricity production by fuel Source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000
#electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france
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The above pie charts display how much
electricity
consumed
Add a missing verb
was consumed
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 from various fuels produced by Australia and France during 1980 and 2000. The
electricity
 consumption is quantified in
units
.
Overall
, the most widely consumed
source
for
Change preposition
of
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electricity
 in Australia was coal in 1980 and 2000,
whereas
 in France coal and natural
gas
 together as
a
Correct article usage
the
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 maximum
source
 for the
production
 of
electricity
 in 1980 but nuclear power became the most significant
source
 of
electricity
 generation in 2000. In Australia, out of 100
units
 of
production
 in the year 1980, coal accounted for half of the
electricity
 produced (50
units
). meanwhile, natural
gas
 and hydropower contributed 40units of
electricity
 being produced,
while
oil
 made the least
source
electricity
Change preposition
of electricity
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 by the year, 2000 coal had become the main
source
 of
electricity
 for almost 75 per cent of the total
production
 (130
units
).
while
 hydropower contributed only
significant
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significantly
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 with almost 20 per cent of its share (36
units
).The other two sources (
oil
 and natural
gas
) made an insignificant contribution (only 2
units
 each)
On the other hand
, During 1980 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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France, coal and natural
gas
 derived half of the total
electricity
production
 of its whole (25
units
 each)
whereas
, a significant amount merely less than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half of the whole contributed by
oil
 and nuclear power (20
units
 and 15
units
)and hydropower contributed a share of only 5
units
. By 2000, a significant majority of
share
Correct article usage
the share
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 is nuclear power was utilised a maximum of 126
units
.
While
 coal and
oil
 together produced only 50
units
 and the other two sources remained relatively insignificant.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, units, source, gas, production, oil with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 6 times.
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