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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in t.v, video games and other types of entertainment for children’s leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think problem can be tackled?

#parents #level #violence #v #video #games #entertainment #children’s #leisure #affect #children
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Nowadays, parents are concerned because their kids are adapting violent behaviour by using electronic gadgets
such
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 as, computer games, T.V and so on.
This
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 essay will elaborate the harmful effects as well as the possible solutions to mitigate the problem in the following paragraphs. There is no doubt that modern technology is used everywhere. It
put
Suggestion
puts
great impact
Suggestion
a great impact
 on everyone's life. Children use it to spend their free time. They watch movies
for example
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, action, horror and thriller. After watching they start to perform like
movie
Suggestion
a movie
movies
 in their real life. They think if they show
aggression they
Accept comma addition
aggression, they
 might get everything they want.
Infact
Suggestion
In fact
, due to horror movies, some of them experiences bad nightmares.
In addition
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, some video games like PS4, pub G has
also
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 put negative impact on kid's behaviour. So, every problem has
solution
Suggestion
a solution
. Parents play
imperative role
Suggestion
an imperative role
 in
kid's life
Suggestion
a kid's life
kid's lives
the kid's life
. They can keep their eyes on their daily activities and set the limitations to using the electronic devices.
Divertional
Suggestion
Devotional
 therapy could be used to divert their mind into social works,
house hold
a social unit living together
household
 chores and physical activities. To sum up, the more use of electronic tool is the cause of aggressive
behaviour but
Accept comma addition
behaviour, but
 it could be controlled by parents by continuously monitoring their children. It should
also
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 be the responsibility of the government to take important steps to overcome
this
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 problem by imposing the instructions to companies.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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