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Writing Samples
Band 5

The map below is of town of Garldson, a new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below is of town of Garldson, a new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#town #garldson #supermarket #two #sites #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The Map illustrates two possible linked ways (Hindon and
Cransdon
Use synonyms
) via the railway line for another
supermarket
Use synonyms
 (S) to be built in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 city of Garldon with
65000
Correct article usage
a 65000
show examples
 population.
Overall
Linking Words
, the designed plan describes
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 location of
Use synonyms
supermarket
Add an article
a supermarket
show examples
 within
residential
Add an article
the residential
a residential
show examples
 area just near the centre of
town
Add an article
the town
show examples
 of Garldon, which connects and is neighboured by three
towns
Use synonyms
 Hindon, Bransdon and
Cransdon
Use synonyms
 via railway line and road.
Similarly
Linking Words
 , the location of
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
show examples
 range is north and south. With respect to
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
 of Garldson, most of the field is covered under housing,
while
Linking Words
 the three other
towns
Use synonyms
Cransdon
Use synonyms
 , Bransdon and Hindson are located from
west
Correct article usage
the west
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
, northeast and southeast with
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 29000, 15000 and 10000 respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
 ,
Supermarket
Use synonyms
 (one) is located
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the southeast
along with
Linking Words
 industries from south and north with no traffic route at
town
Add an article
the town
show examples
 centre. With respect to
Supermarket
Use synonyms
 2, the planned location is near residential and the centre of a Garldson,
while
Linking Words
 it is connected directly with two
towns
Use synonyms
 and an old
supermarket
Use synonyms
 via railway line and all
towns
Use synonyms
 by road.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the area of three cities (Hindon,
Cransdon
Use synonyms
 and Bransdon) is named with
Add an article
the country
show examples
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cransdon, supermarket, towns with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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