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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some businesses now say that no-one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#businesses #smoke #cigarettes #offices #governments #places
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The importance and popularity of smoking
area
 have grown over the past few years. Experts throughout developing and developed worlds have debated whether smoking in a public
area
 should be restricted or not. Personally,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 strongly advocate the former view.
However
, both sides of
this
 issue will be examined in the following essay. On the one hand, there are three essential positive sides of banned smoking in public
area
. The most significant one would be a health issue. An extensive study by renowned university has illustrated that not only the smokers' health, but
also
 the non-smokers' health will be deteriorated because non-smokers receive indirect impact.
Furthermore
, pollution has played an important role in our lives. One of the crucial cause results from smoke of cigarettes.
Hence
, the increase of global warming will harm both human life and wildlife, comparison
this
 situation to the proverbial canary in the coal mine.
Last
 but not least, cigarette is one type of addicted drug that would shorten the person's life. When the death rate from smoking rose, resulted in lack of country's labour and decrease the country's GDP.
On the other hand
,
although
 there are ample benefits in restricted smoking
area
, its multifold disagreements cannot be denied.
First
Suggestion
The first
 and the foremost, deviation of smokers' rights is the often argument. Due to the fact that everyone has the right to do something,
thus
 they will use
this
 kind of claim to argue the agreement of banned smoking
area
. Another disagreement that should be taken into consideration is that nicotine - ingredient of cigarettes - would help to reduce the stress level from working hard. To conclude from aforementioned arguments,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 obviously believe that its advantages in determining the smoking
area
 would outweigh its disadvantages.
Submitted by kochakorn.sut on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • second-hand smoke
  • respiratory diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • productivity
  • fire hazards
  • environmental advantages
  • aesthetics
  • non-smokers
  • personal freedom
  • well-being
  • smoking bans
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