IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#university #graduates #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates how many
students
 have
a
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apply
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university graduation between 1992 and 2006 in terms of gender in Canada.
Overall
, there
are
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is
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 a
fluctuality
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
 increasing both
gender's
Fix the agreement mistake
genders'
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 college education. Clearly, all these genders'
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
' graduation skyrockets after the
milennium
Correct your spelling
millennium
.
However
, the most
significantly
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significant
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 rising is among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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women
students
, their rate approximately is
up
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apply
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half of the beginning number. When
glacing
Correct your spelling
placing
glancing
 the rate of male former
students
,
finally
 the rising is more than 20000 after the years. The decreasing graduation of both of them
,
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apply
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 starts
at
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in
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 1994 until
at
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apply
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1998.
This
 is the least number of university
degree
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degrees
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 both
in
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apply
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female and
male
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males
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.
After six
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Six
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 years later, the proportion of them, replace
to
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with
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 initiative numbers. Fortunately, women and man prefer continuing their
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
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,
therefore
 after
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 six
years
Add a comma
,years
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 all these
degree
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degrees
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 has
rising
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risen
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 significantly. The number of them
peak
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peaks
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at
Change preposition
in
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the
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apply
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2006, with the differences of the women
students
'
leader
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leaders
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • general trend
  • fluctuations
  • peaks
  • dips
  • significant differences
  • increase/decrease
  • comparison
  • data
  • period
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
  • cultural shifts
  • implications
  • workforce
  • economy
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