IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The figure provided reveals the figure of female
students
Use synonyms
 per 100 male
students
Use synonyms
 of developed and developing
countries
Use synonyms
, in primary, secondary and tertiary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 in 1990 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the provided bar chart that the total of girls in both developed and developing
countries
Use synonyms
 saw
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 gradual rise as time elapses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of girls in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 was more than in developing
countries
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all three educational levels. As is shown in
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
, the total of female learners in primary school increased considerably over a decade from 83 to 87 in developing
countries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 the symbol of
students
Use synonyms
 saw slowly rose from 93 to 96 respectively. As for secondary education, showing 72 in 1990,
this
Linking Words
 total of female learners had climbed to 82 in 2000 in developing
countries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 sum increased from 98 to 99. With regard to tertiary education, the total of female
students
Use synonyms
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 was
two
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much higher than in developing
countries
Use synonyms
 in both years, showing 105/112 and 66/76 appropriately.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: