IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most government money should be invested in teaching science rather than any other subjects in order for a country to develop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #subjects #country
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Most government
Suggestion
More government
 money should be invested in teaching
science
Use synonyms
 rather than any other subjects in order for a 
country
Use synonyms
 to develop. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Some people think that citizens can obtain benefits
from
Suggestion
of
 teaching
science
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 invested by
government
Suggestion
the government
, while others disagree. On the one hand, I believe that investing in scientific teaching has various benefits. Allocating money to
science
Use synonyms
, which means will dramatically promote developments in technology. For consumers, the application of technology in food production and food transport has greatly increased the variety of food available in supermarkets and grocery stores,
thus
Linking Words
 it will provide consumers with a wider range of choices. Canned and bottled foods,
for example
Linking Words
, make life easier, especially for city residents whose busy lifestyle have not enough time to prepare lunches or
diners
the main meal of the day served in the evening or at midday
dinners
.
Besides
Linking Words
, industrialized have been promoted quickly under circumstances of learning
science
Use synonyms
, resulting in the advent of robots, which often is considered very much important to human society nowadays. Robot works can work in some situations that are considered too dangerous to human beings
such
Linking Words
 as rescuing in fire scenes or cleaning up radioactive waste.
Also
Linking Words
, Nano-robots can be putted into
patient’s body
Suggestion
the patient’s body
a patient’s body
 to operate
complexed
Suggestion
complex
complexes
 surgery
that is
Linking Words
 impossible for
surgeon
Suggestion
a surgeon
the surgeon
surgeons
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, I think that the development of a
country
Use synonyms
not jut
Suggestion
doesn't jut
 limit to spend money on scientific education. There are various options that the governments should be considered,
for instance
Linking Words
, if
such
Linking Words
 subjects involving in developments of the infrastructure and underground water disposal are operated successful, which
also
Linking Words
 represents
progresses
Suggestion
progress
 in a
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I personally believe that whether a
country
Use synonyms
 develops or not should be judged from different aspects. Apparently, the most important thing is that the scientific and other subjects should be invested by the government proportionally.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • scientific research
  • technological advancements
  • economic growth
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • global challenges
  • talented individuals
  • scientific innovation
  • well-rounded education
  • diverse workforce
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