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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the charts below show the number of university students in a particular country and how much the government spent on each student between 1984 and 2009 as well as the financial condition of the student's families. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

the charts below show the number of university students in a particular country and how much the government spent on each student between 1984 and 2009 as well as the financial condition of the student's families. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar chart gives the magnitude of the number of university students in a particular country and how much the government spent on each student various 1984 to 2009.From the graph that there are differences in the following years to different years. The capacity of 1984 was lower than that of 1989 (150000% and 250000%) respectively. The
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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of
Change preposition
in
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 1994
lower
Add a missing verb
was lower
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 than that of 1999 (20000% and 350000%) respectively.The scale of 2004
lower
Add a missing verb
was lower
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 than that of 2009 (360000% and 400000%). The rate
of
Change preposition
in
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 2009 was 400000%, which was the largest in 2004. The share of 1984 was the lowest at 150000
than
Replace the word
then
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 that
2009
Change preposition
in 2009
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.
overall
Linking Words
,the percentage of 2009 reached
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak at 400000%
in
Change preposition
from
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 1999 to 2004

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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