IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #positions #salaries #workers #company #people #isn’t
Nowadays, occasionally we can observe that people who job in senior positions earn more amount of money compared to young employees of identical firm.While some proportion of people do not
conider
deem to be
consider
 that it is right. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement, because people who use in industry in higher positions have more task experience compared to proportion of young workers.Due to the knowledge which senior workplaces know, naturally they earn more.
In addition
, knowledge, older people can share experiences with young workers, as they have a long job
experiece
the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities
experience
expires
 and a lot of practises behind.
Becase
Suggestion
Because
 of
this
 their salary much higher than young worker who use work in the same company, I think so.
For example
, the company which is called 'Google, prefer to employ staffs who many times made mistakes these employees have already known what it means defeat, and already have a lot of experience.Due to the way which they passed.
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that nit only many countries must commit themselves to paying higher
remoneration
something that remunerates
remuneration
 to senior positions than to young employees, but
also
 throughout the world that
this
 can speed up the work process so that employees keep track of
experiencd
lacking practical experience or training
inexperienced
experience
experiences
 and experienced leaders. In conclusion, I believe that
this
 is a fairly fair decision to appoint more salaries for higher posts.
this
 can lead to good changes in the future
Submitted by dimashking10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: