IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

the charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The pie charts illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of
Add an article
the stream
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stream
Fix the agreement mistake
streams
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 used for
intents
Fix the agreement mistake
intent
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 in North
America
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, South
America
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,
Europ
Correct your spelling
Europe
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, Africa, Central
Asia
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 and South
Asia
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie
chart
Add a comma
,chart
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 there are have 3 different purposes
of
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for
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adoption
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adopting
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 the drink
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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industrial treatment, agricultural need and domestic handling. The first pie chart is North
America
Use synonyms
 have 48% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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industrial, 39%
for
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apply
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agricultural and 13%
for
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apply
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domestic. The
second
Linking Words
 is South
America
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 have 10%, 19% and 71% for industrial, agricultural and domestic respectively. The
thrid
Correct your spelling
third
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 is
Europ
Correct your spelling
Europe
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 have a deluge for industrial service more than
another country
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
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, Agricultural and domestic have 32% and 15% respectively. And the remaining 3
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Africa, Central
Asia
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 and Southeast
Asia
Use synonyms
 have aided in handling the precipitation are similar. So the
intend
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intention
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 to benefit monsoon for industrial have 7%, 5% and 12% respective country. For agricultural have 84%, 88% and 81% respectively. And the
last
Linking Words
 domestic have 9% in Africa, Central
Asia
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 and Southeast
Asia
Use synonyms
 have 7% equal. In conclusion,
Europe
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in Europe
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exactly
Add a missing verb
has exactly
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 53% of the
industrial
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industry
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 more than
other
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in other
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 areas. Central
Asia
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 has
the
Correct article usage
a
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percent
Replace the word
percentage
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to
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of
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agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than
another country
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
show examples
. And South
America
Use synonyms
 have 19% for domestic.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words america, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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