IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years
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The two pie charts show a comparison of the percentages of various types of French
energy
Use synonyms
 production in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen in the pie chart that of the two years coal remains the most used
energy
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 other
energy
Use synonyms
 remains a little
energy
Use synonyms
 to be produced from the two years. In 1995, coal and gas became scattered
energy
Use synonyms
 produced.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in 2005, coal and gas became the biggest
energy
Use synonyms
 to be produced. The difference in
increase
Add an article
the increase
show examples
 in gas
energy
Use synonyms
 in 1995 and 2005 was 0.68%,
while
Linking Words
 coal was 1.13%.
Likewise
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Nuclear and other
energy
Use synonyms
experiences
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 an increase namely nuclear around 3.7% and other
energy
Use synonyms
 around 4.2%.
Whereas
Linking Words
 on petro, it experienced a very drastic decrease of around 9.72%. It can be concluded from the pie chart that coal remains the largest
energy
Use synonyms
 produced. And of all types of
energy
Use synonyms
, almost all experienced an increase, but in petro
instead
Linking Words
 experienced a drastic decrease.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "comparison" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nuclear energy
  • Renewable energy
  • Non-renewable energy
  • Technological advancements
  • Government policy
  • Environmental policies
  • Investment in renewable technologies
  • Traditional energy sources
  • Coal usage
  • Natural gas
  • Environmental regulations
  • Energy consumption
  • Energy production levels
  • Proportion
  • Broader trends
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