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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Which is more important a high salary or job satisfaction?

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It is irrefutable that a society growing and
money
Use synonyms
 is becoming more important in n these days.
Also
Linking Words
, people make their career decisions based on high
wages but
Accept comma addition
wages, but
 some people believe that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is
more significant factor
Suggestion
a more significant factor
. In my. Opinion
bothe
two things or people together
both
 are equally important and it would be justified
further
Linking Words
. To commence with
first
Linking Words
 notion
,
Accept space
,
money
Use synonyms
 is the basic necessities of
life
Use synonyms
 and it is very imperative for reasonable and quality of
life
Use synonyms
. If people chose their jobs based on salaries,
then
Linking Words
 they would be able to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their basis needs
such
Linking Words
 as dream house or luxurious cars
so on
in the near future
soon
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, high wages
provide
Suggestion
provides
job
Use synonyms
 security to
person
Use synonyms
 as people
work
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 hard with high pay rate
then
Linking Words
 they would able to save
money
Use synonyms
 for their future.
beside
Suggestion
Beside
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 huge
salary
Use synonyms
 is a symbol of prestige and happiness in society.
a
Suggestion
A
person
Use synonyms
 who
have
Suggestion
has
has had
 enough
money
Use synonyms
 to invest Brit their
families
Suggestion
family's
family
families'
 desires and
able
Suggestion
ability
 to provide a luxurious lifestyle.Apart from
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
of people opt a satisfied
job
Use synonyms
 with expected
Use synonyms
salary
Accept comma addition
salary, then
then
Linking Words
 sometimes they could not get paid enough to need their families expectations
,
Accept space
,
for instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
an artist or musician if they couldn't influence their audience
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 it is very hard for them to get paid well.
Consequently
Linking Words
, high
salary
Use synonyms
 is an important factor while choosing a
job
Use synonyms
. In other hand,
job
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 gratification is equally important because it
bring
Suggestion
brings
 motivation and interest among a
person
Use synonyms
 to show their contribution
toward
Suggestion
to
 their
work
Use synonyms
 so that it would help with increasing productivity at working places.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
it
also
Linking Words
 helps to improve
working environment
Suggestion
the working environment
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
if people are happy with their
job
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 they would
work
Use synonyms
 without any stress and failure.
However
Linking Words
, they are not happy with their
Use synonyms
work
Accept comma addition
work, then
then
Linking Words
 they could not be able to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
demands
Suggestion
the demands
 of companies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, self satisfied
job
Use synonyms
 will help a
person
Use synonyms
 to enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
. Enjoyment
does not means
Suggestion
does not mean
 that
person
Use synonyms
have
Suggestion
has
big bank balance it
Suggestion
a big bank balance, it
a big bank balance it
 means one's happy with their
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 would
Linking Words
also helps
Suggestion
also help
have also helped
 to relief the burden of stress
ae
to the same degree (often followed by 'as')
as
 well as make
Use synonyms
person
Suggestion
people
a person
the person
 happy. In despite's, self
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a significant factor for choosing a career. Overall, balancing between
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 and huge
salary
Use synonyms
 is better opinion.
However
Linking Words
, huge
salary
Use synonyms
 aid to fulfillment of needs of
life
Use synonyms
 but
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 will help
person
Use synonyms
 to enjoy their
life
Use synonyms

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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