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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
It is a well-known fact that employers
has asked
Suggestion
have asked
 applicants for their personal details
such
 as likenesses, reliefs and marital status. The issue of whether these personal
information
 might be useful or not is certainly a controversial one. Despite the arguments of some people that they think employers have the right to disclose candidates' private
information
, I personally believe that it should not be a part of questions during an interview. The following essay will illustrate two of
principal reasons
Suggestion
the principal reasons
 of
this
 discussion.
To begin
 with, there are several factors that people believe personal
information
 is relevant and useful to mention.
Firstly
, employers can provide some facilities related to employees'
details especially
Accept comma addition
details, especially
 for disabled people.
Secondly
, employers have fundamental rights to understand applicants' backgrounds.
Therefore
, employers can take an appropriate decision about whether
this
 candidate, deserving the job or not.
In addition
, companies can organise events based on employees' hobbies and interests for engagement and happiness purposes.
On the other hand
, some group of thinkers considered that these data is irrelevant. Some people want their private data would not share
to
Suggestion
with
 others. The
information
 is not belonging to work. Even more worrying is that employers put too much attention on applicants' privacy.
For example
, in many Asian
culture
Suggestion
cultures
, lots of employers would ask female applicants for marital status. Many
employer
Suggestion
employers
 would not recruit married women only because they thought married women would focus on their families rather than work.
This
 phenomenon not only causes serious issues
on
Suggestion
in
of
 society and
economics but
Accept comma addition
economics, but
also
 discriminates women's work right. To
concluse
decide by reasoning; draw or come to a conclusion
conclude
, and vote my opinion, considering both
debate
Suggestion
debates
, I certainly vote for the latter group which is logically due to specific reasons.
Hence
, it is not essential for providing personal
information
 during an interview.
Submitted by porcupine030 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: