It is clear from the graph that the ratio of smoking men were the highest over the period given, while the women were the lowest in general.

It is clear from the graph that the ratio of smoking men were the highest over the period given, while the women were the lowest in general.
It is clear from the blueprint that the ratio of
smoke
Replace the word
smoking
show examples
men was the highest over the phrase given,
while
the women were the lowest in general. It is clear from the table that TV followers in the UK were the highest in the most of
phrase
Fix the agreement mistake
phrases
show examples
given,
while
the radio was lowest in general. It is clear from the graph that cell phone services were the highest in most of the span given,
while
residential phone services were lowest in general. It is clear from the blueprint that
numbers
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
of men were the highest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
stretch
Fix the agreement mistake
stretches
show examples
given,
while
women were the lowest in general. It is clear from the sketch that
local-landing
Correct your spelling
local landing
show examples
was highest over the style given,
while
the mobiles
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
lowest in general. It is clear from the table that the numbers of visitors to the USA were highest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
phrase
Fix the agreement mistake
phrases
show examples
given,
while
Brazil was lowest in general. It is clear from the blueprint that exports were highest in Canada
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the duration given,
while
Australia was lowest in general. It is clear from the graph that the GDP of Japan was increased Over the season given,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Ecuador
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined in general.
This
illustration compares GDP growth in Tunisia, Japan and Ecuador
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
2007 to 2010.
Submitted by aabdurahima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 81%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "ratio" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 8 times.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ratio
  • trends
  • cultural factors
  • societal influences
  • biological factors
  • awareness campaigns
  • public health initiatives
  • correlated declines
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • stress levels
  • employment status
  • education levels
  • income
  • advertising
  • tobacco industry
  • marketing tactics
  • demographics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: