The graph on the right shows the unemployment figures amongst women of different age groups. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.

#right #unemployment #figures #women #age #groups #report #university #lecturer #information

The graph shows the percentage of unemployed

women

at 8

ages

. It can be clearly seen that the

ages

18 and 45 have the highest

unemployment

rate.

According to

the graph, among the

age

Replace the word

aged

show examples

18, 20 ,25 and 35, the youngest

women

have the highest employment percentage (15%), 20 years-old

women

have an

unemployment

rate a few lower (about 10%), and

this

percentage drops gradually until 35 years-old reaching the lowest point, there is only a slight increase in those aged 30, where the

unemployment

rate reaches 6

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

The peak value is recorded amongst 45 years-old

women

, and all the remaining

ages

have

much

Add an article

a much

show examples

lower value of

unemployment

: 8% at

age

55 and 9% at

age

65.

To sum up

, the figures for most

ages

are relatively uniform and change from 5 to 9%, with rare exceptions

such

as the

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

18 and 45.

Submitted by kwarts on Mon May 25 2020

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words women, ages, unemployment, age with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

145 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph on the right shows the unemployment figures amongst women of different age groups. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools To what extent do you agree or disagree?

SOME PEOPLE THINK IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO SPEND MONEY ON ROADS AND MOTORWAYS THAN ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEMS SUCH AS RAILWAYS AND TRAMS.TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE OR DISAGREE?

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent lexical in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming only language to be spoken globally. Advantages and disadvantages?