IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The given six pie charts demonstrated the
water
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 usage of six different regions of the world (North
America
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, South
America
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,
Europe
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,
Africa
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, Central
Asia
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, and South East
Asia
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)
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three types of use (agricultural,
industry
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industrial
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, and domestic) which represented in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
used
Replace the word
use
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 of
water
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 South
America
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Asia
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 and
Africa
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 mostly for
agriculture
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,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 North
America
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 and
Europe
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 had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar portion in terms of industrial and
agriculture
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. There
were
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was
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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minimal
water
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 usage for domestic use in all six areas of the world. North
America
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 and
Europe
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was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the two
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
 that used
water
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 on
main ly
Correct your spelling
mainly
show examples
agriculture
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 and industrial use with almost half for North
America
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 (48
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
) and 53
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in terms of factory and
agriculture
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 used of a number that exceeded 30
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
percent
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 with 39
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for North
America
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 and 32 for
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europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
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. In terms of
water
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 usage in South
America
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,
Asia
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, and
Africa
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, the biggest proportion
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
water
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 used for
agriculture
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 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage that exceeded three
fifth
Change to a plural noun
fifths
show examples
 for all of them 71
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for South
America
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, 84 for
Africa
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 and 88 and 81 within
Asia
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.
Submitted by Kise Asanami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, europe, africa, asia, agriculture, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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