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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
The given six pie charts demonstrated the
water
 usage of six different regions of the world (North
America
, South
America
,
Europe
,
Africa
, Central
Asia
, and South East
Asia
)
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three types of use (agricultural,
industry
Replace the word
industrial
show examples
, and domestic) which represented in percentage.
Overall
, the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
water
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 South
America
Asia
 and
Africa
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 mostly for
agriculture
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 North
America
 and
Europe
 had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar portion in terms of industrial and
agriculture
. There
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minimal
water
 usage for domestic use in all six areas of the world. North
America
 and
Europe
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the two
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
 that used
water
 on
main ly
Correct your spelling
mainly
show examples
agriculture
 and industrial use with almost half for North
America
 (48
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
) and 53
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in terms of factory and
agriculture
 used of a number that exceeded 30
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
percent
 with 39
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for North
America
 and 32 for
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
show examples
. In terms of
water
 usage in South
America
,
Asia
, and
Africa
, the biggest proportion
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
water
 used for
agriculture
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage that exceeded three
fifth
Change to a plural noun
fifths
show examples
 for all of them 71
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for South
America
, 84 for
Africa
 and 88 and 81 within
Asia
.
Submitted by Kise Asanami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, europe, africa, asia, agriculture, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

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