IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Thailand who visited four different places in Bangkok. Summarizes the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Thailand who visited four different places in Bangkok. Summarizes the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In 1980, the art gallery
stated
Correct your spelling
started
show examples
 at 20%, afterwards, the percentage of art gallery visitors reached its peak at around 39% in 1985, and
then
Linking Words
 it sharply declined five years in a row. It steadily plunged to approximately 21% in 1995 throughout the end of the period.
This
Linking Words
 was the highest rate of all the
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
, from around 23% and 48% in 1980 and 1995 respectively.
Then
Linking Words
 it dramatically hit a low of around 35% in 2000. After that, it decreased throughout the end of the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add some linking words.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: