IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity

the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity
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Camb 13, Test 3, Task 1 The bar chart illustrates the amounts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electricity
Use synonyms
producted
Correct your spelling
produced
 and consumed by
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 ten countries in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 the most
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 was experienced by
China
Use synonyms
 in 2014,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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was registered by
Korea
Use synonyms
 Rep.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
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a
Remove the article
apply
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its peak in
China
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, it hit its lowest point in
Korea
Use synonyms
 in all countries. As can be seen from the graph,
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 came top ranking with just under 5,400 billion (kW) in
China
Use synonyms
, followed by
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States which has a
production
Use synonyms
 of just over 4,000 billion (kW). Russia ranked
third
Linking Words
 with 1,057 billion (kW).
Further
Linking Words
,
Korea
Use synonyms
 Rep. had the least
production
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
electricity
Use synonyms
China
Use synonyms
 showed
the
Correct your spelling
that
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China
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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registered
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 consumption
to
Change preposition
apply
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above 5,320,
while
Linking Words
Korea
Use synonyms
 Rep.. was seen the least consumption, which
account
Change the verb form
accounts
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 for approximately 449.
Submitted by MERVE DEMİR on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, production, china, korea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • megawatt-hours (MWh)
  • electricity grid
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • energy efficiency
  • consumption patterns
  • power generation
  • industrial demand
  • residential use
  • transmission losses
  • energy imports
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • energy policy
  • capacity
  • infrastructure
  • demand and supply
  • electrification
  • energy security
  • grid reliability
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